Pretty Girls Make Graves.

There is plenty of evidence that Pretty Girls Make Graves are one of the most amazing bands ever formed. Really; there is. I could go searching to maybe find said evidence for you all, but the only evidence you need is the cds Good Health and The New Romance; don't start with Elan Vital, it's mediocre in comparison to those two.

Pretty Girls Make Graves were formed in 2001 by Derek Fudesco and Andrea Zollo. And yes, for those fans of The Smiths out there, they indeed were named after the song of the very same name by The Smiths. Oooh.

Their first album is Good Health. Good Health is not good though, it's great! Speakers Push The Air is such a fucking good song! No, really, it is! It's fairly easy to tell that the song is about music itself. It mentions music in it. I would laugh so hard if I encountered somebody who believed it was about speakers actually pushing air, like a schoolyard bully pushes a geek with a helium voice.

But if I was to recommend an album to a non-listener, I would recommened The New Romance. it's far better than Good Health, making it brilliant. Where I can listen to Good Health in it's entirety a good few times, I could listen to The New Romance all day every day for a good few weeks. Here is a brief semi detailed account as to why.

Something Bigger, Something Brighter is such a good song to start an album with. It's the very song that got me hooked. Even today I still love it, and you know why? It's simple really - it has handclaps. Yes my friends; I have an undying love for songs with handclaps. Combining handclaps with a song as awesome as this has me literally drooling, which isn't hard to do really. Shove a pretty girl in front of me and I'll drool too. Maybe a little more discreetly though, so as to not come across as a total lech.

The Grandmother Wolf had the same affect on me also. The only thing missing from this song is handclaps too! I do like the bass bit in this song, but by now you all know about my affection for bass. It's too short for such a wonderful song - extend it please! - but it's a nice little tune, short or long.

Blue Lights is uber hot. Hot songs are always a winner with me, as they are most probably with anybody. Long live hot songs! I will not describe the imagery that accompanies it when I play it.

Hey you know what? I could go on and on about how amazing Pretty Girls Make Graves are in general, but you'll never know until you actually listen to them. Unfortunately for us, they split just last year. Their music will still live on in our hearts though.

Oh Christ. How god damn cheesy was that...

Young & Restless.

I will preface this with no, I am not referring to the shitty soap opera.
Got it?

Young & Restless are a brilliant band from Canberra, Australia. Yes, another Aussie band.
The difference is they haven't toured Europe like Angelspit have, because they're still getting started pretty much, but DAMN!

If you have not heard this band then seriously, it's your loss. Here It Comes... (Lungs) is debatably the best song on their album. I think everyone has to go listen to that song right now. Honestly, it's so smegging good!! I think I am in love with Karina's vocals. She's rad. She has the sort of vocals that make you wanna have sex with the vocal chords that produce them.

Young & Restless write catchy songs. Police! Police! is the very song that got me hopelessly hooked on them. They received pretty heavy airplay on Triple J, which they rightfully deserved. Their guitar work is damn good too! Ok you know what? Every little aspect of this band is awesome. The only non-awesome bit is the fact that I have missed seeing them live four times due to circumstances. I am determined that this May will be different, even if I DO have to endure Gyroscope to see them.

Black has one of the best little guitar solo things I've heard in a while. Seriously. Get 1:39 into the song and be amazed at the neat little guitar riff. I have something very predictable to say about how awesome it is but I will refrain, I already used it to describe Karina's vocals. The intro to Satan is even a little haunting-like, with the echoes and whatnot. It's hot.

I can't really describe to the full extent of how incredible this band is, because it's pretty difficult to do so without sounding like possessive of them. But they really are something.
Australia produces some great bands, and also some shitty ones. Young & Restless is definately a band you should all go and listen to. Seriously. Go now, and be blown away!

Whigfield.

All this rhubarb surrounding her lame-ass single Sexy Eyes of late (and by rhubarb I mean me and Megan laughing at it), I just HAD to write about her.

For those who were living under a rock during the 90s, out of the woodwork sprung a singer know as Whigfield. Ironically, her real name has NO correlation whatsoever to Whigfield. So where the fuck did she pluck WHIGFIELD from?!
I take some amusement in the fact I was dubbed Wigface. I should so adopt that and become the next Whigfield. My breakthrough hit could be Sexy Ears. Or not..

Basically, Whigfield was your standard run of the mill pop star. No real excitement there. Ditto no real talent either. She also had dull songs. With terrible lyrics. Sexy Eyes is a great example. I do not remember anything else of her, which leads me to think she was a one trick pony, although ponies are more interesting than her.

I would like to take this moment to ask any Whigfield fans to come forward and argue her appeal. Seriously; do it. I want to know why people actually enjoyed her music. It was terrible! Dull, bland, unimaginative.

Apparently she's still active in some countries. She's like herpes; once you think you got rid of it, it comes back again.

The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army [video].

You all should know that I adore this video so much, that if I had the chance to, I would breed little skeleton babies that resemble Jack and Meg themselves. Through IVF. I don't want to copulate with skeletons out of a video clip in the guise of Jack and Meg White. Actually, I'd artificially inseminate a victim so that I don't have to give birth to boney love children.

Oh, yeah. The point of this blog? It's a fucking awesome video.

Angelspit.

It's been a good few months now since I discovered this duo by accident, and despite my definite lack of masculinity, I still have a raging hard-on for these guys.

Angelspit is comprised of the two members DestroyX and ZooG. Doesn't the name DestroyX alone make you wanna listen to them?!
They were formed in Sydney, Australia; just for those people who may read this who don't reside in Aus. Pretty sure they've been touring since they formed, which was about 2004, considering it is now 2008 and I've still yet to see them. (I get my chance to in the next few months. Heck yes.).

They create a fairly distinctive industrial sound. Oh how I love industrial noise. It's like techno, just a thousand times cooler. They've toured as supports for such industrial acts as Frontline Assembly, KMFDM, Cruxshadows and Tankt, just to name a few. They've also remixed tracks by fellow industrial artists.

They're not just good. They're fucking awesome. Seriously. Krankhaus is a bitchin' album, I've listened to it so many times that it will probably break one day from overplaying. The only problem I have with that cd is the song Juicy. That song pisses me off. It's a shame really, the intro is cool but the rest is just.. Not as good as the rest. Even the name alone puts me off. Damn. Get Even and Dead Letter are the best tracks on that cd. Pure fucking industrial bliss. Go download them now if you know what's good for you.

Their first recording, Nurse Grenade, includes the fairly straightforward track Fuck Fashion. Straightforward in the sense you don't need to be a rocket scientist to get the point of the song. Unless you're stupid, and can't detect it from the title alone. Maybe somebody thinks it means they have to go out and fornicate with the prettiest pair of All Stars they can find. Oh gee.. Foot fetish anybody?

Shit Fed (Drug) is probably the most techno sounding song on Nurse Grenade, but damn is it killer. For once DestroyX doesn't handle all the vocal duties. Mmm. Deliciously dirty industrial. What more could you possibly ask for?

Right, I'm gonna go check out the Japanese industrial act BAAL, considering the upcoming Angelspit gig in June/July is entitled Angelspit vs BAAL. Yeah. Double industrial goodness, that is if this BAAL is any good. Here's hoping!

[currently listening to Angelspit - Nurse Grenade.]

Fergie.

I had to. I just had to.
How could I not write a blog about a performer who pisses her pants on stage?

That's if you could even call her a performer. Sure, she performs on stage to her legions of fans, who I must say obviously wouldn't know music if it came and raped them from behind, but seriously; performer?

Who the hell would pay to see a woman sing a song about how she's so Fergalicious? God, I'm known to make up words but even I'd never refer to myself as Tarahlicious. Tarahsaurus, maybe, but that's just because I like dinosaurs, not myself.

And Fergie; big girls don't cry? Does that mean if I came to your house, shot your pets and raped your plants, stabbed your parents and ate their food before taking a shit on their doorstep and smearing yoghurt all over the carpet and writing NOW WHO'S FERGALICIOUS? on their wall you wouldn't shed a single tear? What if I sent a gang of gay men to rape your boyfriend in his sleep then place fresh shit on the ceiling fan so that when it's a hot day you'll be covered in turds before silently choking him? No? Say Fergie, maybe someone should test that theory.

She also ruined the Black Eyed Peas. I was never a fan of them before or after she injected herself into their threesome, but it's safe to say she ruined them. They had some remotely decent music; again, I didn't like it, but it was better than the shit they release now.
My Humps? What the hell?! For starters, who would want to hit on Fergie? She looks like a camel! My Humps has to be one of the worst songs lyrically, and unfortunately, it's catchy. Ugh. Rhyming 'lumps' with 'humps' in a terrible attempt at sexualising the song? Genius. Pure fucking genius.

For a 3 year old.

Then there's the urinating on stage fiasco. Somebody wasn't potty trained! Naughty Fergie! If she's such a big girl like her song claims, you'd think she'd realize that not only do big girls cry, they also know how to use the toilet. Back to Huggies for you, Fergie.

Maybe Fergie should go back to her crystal meth days, when she was known as Stacey Ferguson, rather than stealing the Duchess Of York's moniker. At least then there'd be less whinging coming from the airwaves.

Primus.

In the same vein as the uber short Coheed post, this is short and sweet.

I HATE PRIMUS AND I THINK LES CLAYPOOL IS A SMELLY HILLBILLY!

Even though my nephew adores them, he could do a lot worse. He could adore Fergie.

The Matches - A Band In Hope [2008]

All I can say is this cd is quite different to what I expected to get from The Matches.
Where Decomposer was big with the jumpy tunes, A Band In Hope is so much more mellow in comparison.

I've only listened to it twice so far and I think it might need to grow on me. I like it, it's different and sounds good; it could've turned out a lot worse than what it did, but I think I was expecting a second Decomposer. Isn't that sad?

The first thing I have to say is that the song Darkness Rising has me thinking about how Queen-like it sounds. I love it. Jon's voice sounds so lovely, he should sing more often, it's like a lullaby being sung only to me. I could fall asleep to that song. It's beautiful. So far it is my favourite song on this cd.
And Clouds Crash is fucking gorgeous. My mind just wanders off when I listen to it. Since I've started writing this blog, I've had these two songs playing the most out of the whole cd. They write such pretty songs, they do indeed. I could fall asleep to this song also.

Point Me Toward The Morning retains it's usual Matches sound, complete with the faint 'woo' at the beginning. It's nice to hear a song that doesn't sound totally different to their usual sound on this cd, even if it's about seven tracks in. It's a good tune, and really quite catchy.

I'd have to say, so far, that AM Tilts is maybe my least favourite song on the cd. I know for a fact that upon listening more, I'll probably come to enjoy the song much more than I currently do, is is exactly what happened when I listened to the band's previous endeavours.

All in all, I'm really surprised with this cd. I've gone from expecting another Decomposer and ready to jump around to the fun of it, to starting to embrace the charms of something quite different to what I at first expected. And embracing I am!
I recommend this cd to you all. There isn't a bad thing about it all. But I think The Matches injected me long ago with some kind of blissful serum that seeps in through my ears and goes into my bloodstream, with a one way ticket to shoot them straight into my heart.

I could be biased because I really adore this band, but I'm thankful this cd is such a gem, considering the recent woe I experienced at the hands of the new Smashing Pumpkins.

4/5.

The Matches.

And I say to myself, what a wonderful baaaaaand.

I find myself quite picky with indie styled music. I like to consider myself quite open to new musical endeavours, and I never hesitate to try out a new band. In the case of The Matches, I am highly glad I chose to look into them more.

It all started sometime last year when I heard Papercut Skin on the radio whilst I was trying poorly to fall asleep. I thought it sounded quirky, yet I enjoyed it and experienced a surging feeling throughout my body urging me to go and listen to them some more!
Not long after I found myself in possession of the cd Decomposer. I was very pleased.

At first, I really didn't like them. I was a little pissed off that this band I had actually gotten a cd of hadn't had an impact at all on me, and that there was one song on the entire thing that I actually enjoyed listening to. But after that first listen, I had a desire to listen to it again. It was like a car crash; I hate it but couldn't tear myself away.

So today, I am proud to announce that I am happily in a loving relationship with The Matches. They write great little tunes. Shoot Me In The Smile is a an awesone song of amazingly epic proportions. Again, I missed seeing this band on the Soundwave tour, and I'm kicking myself also. They also appear to be fun, and I saw a video of a live clip and they didn't sound bad either.

I recommend this band to everyone. Although, start with songs from Decomposer or their earlier works, they're the best in my humble opinion.
I suck at naming similar style bands also, otherwise I would.
I'll just say if you're a fan of indie, then you should try The Matches, that is if you haven't already.

Also, on a seperate note, I have a twitter thing on my blog. Just below my about me, it tells you things. Like how there is a two part Matches blog today. Awesome!

Calamine - Sealab 2021 Theme Song.

This is an I Broke Your Stereo first!

My opinions on a song, and not just any song, the 40 second theme tune for one of the most amusing cartoons I've laid my lovely brown eyes on! It's performed by Calamine. I did think of the pink lotion when I heard the name of the performers, and yes, I did remember using it to cure the itch of chicken pox when I was a child. A merry, disturbed, twisted child.

To begin, I purchased Sealab 2021 on DVD after witnessing the HappyCake Oven episode on an [adult swim] sampler DVD I was handed whilst purchasing another [adult swim] show a few weeks ago. I watched it, and I laughed. A show with a captain getting worked up over the fact that somebody stole his HappyCake Oven? It was too good to be true! (in hindsight, probably not, but I really, really did find it great).

Another thing which made me interested was the cute little theme tune. Forget the awesomeness of the Buffy The Vampire Slayer theme song, or the brutality of the totally metal theme for Metalocalypse (if you haven't seen that show, do it now, then you will get why I describe it as 'brutal' and 'metal'), this was a neat little ditty which I for some reason didn't expect to be the theme song for such a show.

Because I was so busy trying to force the HappyCake episode upon everybody I came across, I neglected to notice that the ending credits actually tell you who performs the song. So I spent a good few weeks wishing that some miracle would occur and let me know who performed said song.
Then I bought the DVD of Season One, and actually observed the credits. I then felt like a complete spastic. It was right there in front of me for those agonising weeks, and I didn't even realize.

So what's a girl who is hopelessly in love with a shows theme song supposed to do when she finds out who recorded it? Download it, that's what! And download I did, with a fiery passion burning within my chest! Although, looking back, I remember that said fiery passion was actually induced by the fact that I had just eaten something rather hot and swallowed it, and it was burning as it went down my gullet. I'm sure you all know that feeling.

I am now listening to it as I write this, on repeat, in all it's 40 second sweet goodness. I have an urge to research this band a little more now, because the singers voice is rather charming. She sort of reminds me of the lass from The Cranberries, except she doesn't do that oh so funky thing with her voice. You know, I just can't find the words for it.

As my conclusion, I think you should all either watch Sealab 2021 and laugh at how funny it is and aww at the theme song, or if you're too poor to afford the DVD, watch it on youtube, and download the theme song. Go! GOGOGOGOGO!

Coheed And Cambria.

Short and sweet today.

I DO NOT LIKE COHEED AND CAMBRIA AND I WANT TO HUNT DOWN THEIR SINGER AND STEAL HIS HAIR FOR THE WORLDS GREATEST SHAVE!

But I like the song Welcome Home..

Mindless Self Indulgence.

WOAH! Another band I don't like!

Only this time we're taking a different path. Yes sir. There will be no slagging off of MSI today. Nonewhatsoever. What, you say? Keep reading then. Duh.

I have honestly never been able to bring myself to like Mindless Self Indulgence fully. There's just something about them that I can't quite pick. I sometimes think it's Jimmy Urine's voice. But then I think maybe it's the programming. Or maybe the guitars; but no matter what I THINK it is, it's never right. I don't think I'll ever find it.

In lieu of my dislike of this band, I do, however, thoroughly enjoy precisely three songs; Stupid MF, Shut Me Up and Straight To Video. They, my friends, are damn good songs! It also helps that Stupid MF was featured on the Suicide Girls first tour DVD. Mmm. Unconventional hotties.

For some reason though, I can't say a bad word against this band. I never have been able to, and maybe I never will be able to, and here is the shocking truth as to why; they seem like they'd be amazing performers.

That's all, you ask? Yes, it is.
Unfortunately, I missed my opportunity to witness MSI in action at the Soundwave tour this year because well, I couldn't go. I really wanted to see them, to test if my theory of MSI being as energetic and entertaining as I pick them to be is true. Although, fairly reputable sources who did witness MSI at Soundwave tell me that they were amazing, which made me more sad I couldn't go.

I've always wanted to see a band that will blow me away, and MSI really seem like they'd be 'The One' so to speak. No, I do not expect them to shag me silly. They will be 'The One' to deliver one heck of a musicgasm. HA! Man, that is the worst Tarah-invented word ever.
As I was saying. Of all the bands I've seen, none have blown me away. I've seen bands put on great performances, and bands put on bad performances, but no matter, nothing will seem to match to the idea in my head that MSI's would be the ultimate of live shows.

How could I possibly say a bad word against a band I have such a desire to see live?

MSI have a delightful blend of programming and traditional band oriented instruments, melded together to create their rather unique sound. Yeah I know it's probably not THAT unique but I've not encountered a band that I don't like that I yearn to see play a show ok? I mean, you'll never catch me saying I want to see Avenged Sevenfold play a show, because god, I'd have to have amnesia and forget how much I detest them in order to do THAT!

Also, I know band members appearances mean nothing to how good a band are at whatever it is that they do, but Lyn Z is pretty good looking. Even if she did go and marry the twat I mentioned in my previous entry. Of all people she married the douchebag who sings about black parades! HOW COULD YOU!
Despite that, good luck to him, considering if this picture is anything to go by, she looks rather flexible;

Ooh bass is hot..

I will end this blog on a happy note, not by cursing the fact that a whinger married Lyn Z in all her flexible-appearing-greatness.

Thank you, Mindless Self Indulgence, for making me realize that just because I don't like a band, it doesn't mean I can't appreciate what they do because they're good at it.

Three cheers for MSI!

My Chemical Romance.

Most fans of My Chemical Romance that I encounter are psychotic.
Ooh offended? Excellent.

But really. I've met quite a few people, mainly teenagers below the age of 16, that are so in love with that band that the slightest hint of a negative comment about them will send them into a frenzy.
Example;
"I don't like like that music, especially that MCR crap."
"OMFG WTF*! THEY ARE SO GOOD! I LOVE GERARD! THEIR LYRICS MEAN SO MUCH TO ME! FUCK YOU!"

I don't blame you for wanting to defend your favourite band, but try to show a little maturity. Flying into a fit because somebody disses your favourite band is stupid. If someone disses a band I like, I will make my point as to why I like them, but I won't go ape shit over it.
But again, MCR fans are the worst, from past experience. Such a huge generalization I know, but I would really like to encounter a MCR fan under 16 that will listen to me bitch about how lame they are and accept my opinion without abusing me.

I really don't get their appeal, other than appealing to the ears of 'depressed' teens all over the world. I say depressed in jest; I am sick of kids whinging about how depressed they are when they're really cranky over something minor, like their parents didn't give them money to buy cigarettes. OH GOD IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! All of you who claim to be depressed, take a good look at yourself or please get a proper diagnosis, and we'll be bestest friends.

Who wants to hear music about some dolt wailing about how he's not ok [he promises, apparently] and being in black parades? If I wasn't so overexposed to MCR then I'm pretty sure I'd think a black parade is a hoarde of native African people displaying tribal dances in the streets. I think I'd rather see that on tv than Gerard and his mighty band of people with terrible hair.

The world was fine before that band decided to form. Or make it big. Whatever. Well actually it wasn't fine, the world has gone to shit, but if the various countries feel the need to destroy things, please could you destroy My Chemical Romance? They make all the other 'emo' bands look bad.
Thank you.

* = Only because so many people these days seem to favour text talk or whatever the hell you call it.