Buckethead.

If someone were to create a music dictionary, a quick flip to words such as 'freak' and 'weird' would present a picture of a man with a KFC bucket on his head. This, my friends, is the anomaly known as Buckethead.

For those out of the loop, Buckethead is what you'd call a guitar virtuoso. He's had a stint in Guns N Roses, which must've been hell for him - that band is so lame. He's well known not only for his guitar playing but for being a complete basketcase. Seriously.

This is a grown man who plays guitar like a robot on speed but wears a Japanese mask on his face, which looks like he broke into Joey Jordison's house and painted his Slipknot mask white before stealing it, and the aforementioned KFC bucket on his head to complete the ensemble. A GROWN MAN! But that's not all. This guy actually created this backstory about being raised by chickens.

Yes, that's right - FUCKING CHICKENS!

Sure you hear stories about people being raised by primates of some sort but for a HUMAN being to be raised by a BIRD which is at least 5x SMALLER than a grown human.. It's fucking ludicrous! I understand the effect of a good gimmick, such as GWAR looking like cross bred mutants who live in a sewer, or Slipknot and they're constantly changing masks and jumpsuits, but if you're going to wear a takeaway container on your head and say you were raised by chickens then I think you should cart your merry self off to the fucking psychiatric ward.

What's even worse, is some people are very impressionable. My nephew adores this lunatic, and he actually BELIEVED his crap about being raised by god damn chickens. And no, my nephew was not three when he thought this. HE WAS FUCKING FOURTEEN! He idolises this reject so much he sincerely believed it, and would shut down anybody who tried to tell him otherwise. Thankfully, he came to his senses, or someone other than Buckethead would've been on their way to a shrink.

Also, have any of you seen this guys fingers?! They're very long, which I guess is a nifty thing to have when you're a guitarist of his stature, but my god they're just freakish!

All in all, Buckethead is a good guitarist, although I think I would respect him more if he ditched the fucking bucket and mask and made a press conference telling the world about his parents who should be named Barbara and Walter.
I would also respect him more if his guitar work wasn't all the same high-pitched, super fast riffing stuff he always does.. It's called variety.

I want to smack him for being a tool.